Ups and Downs in Health

A couple of nights ago, I retired early thinking I would gain additional rest and awaken refreshed the next morning. Suddenly, around midnight, I awoke with acute nausea and the urge to vomit. I did just that, accompanied by profuse perspiration and a feverish overall feeling. Afterwards, thinking that I had passed the worst of it, I awoke again around 2:00 a.m., and spent an hour or so on the verge of repeating the same incident, but never quite reaching the brink.

This was an unusual experience, unlike other times that I have been sick. Such 'new experiences' are unnerving and bring on additional fears. For a person like me, who already is the worrying type, this is especially difficult to cope with.

My life has been like that ever since I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia or CLL. Of course, this is not the worst form of leukemia to have. In fact, it is relatively easy to treat. Some people have even described this disease as 'no big deal.' In my case, there are factors which make the CLL more unpredictable and slightly more aggressive. After my first four-month round of chemotherapy (with the drug Fludera), I was hoping for a long remission. It turned out to be about two years before the CLL became active again. Actually, I am grateful for two years of feeling almost normal again.

But, now the beast is back, and has severely crippled my immune system. In the course of three months, I have had Zoster (Shingles), Ramsay-Hunt Disease (a result of the Zoster), an upper respiratory infection, Viral Meningitis, and continual nerve-based pain in the head, neck and back -- probably a result of some or all of the above ailments.

At Scripps-Mercy ER with Meningitis

As I look ahead to the next round of treatment, I will write about my experience with chronic diseases (I also have type II Diabetes), if for no other reason than to clarify my thoughts, fears, and especially hope, based on my faith in God and on trust in medical science and the doctors who care for me. And, if anyone else reads and appreciates these comments, I will feel so much the better for having reached beyond myself.